Widnes second team entertained Neston on Saturday. I use the word entertained rather loosely as will become apparent during the remainder of the report.
The teams went out to toss the coin. Heads was the call from the Neston skipper. Heads it was. The players had never witnessed such a joyous captain on the flick of a coin. Widnes batting.
Myers and Byrne opened-up against some tight bowling from Mills and the wily Stimson. Myers was the first to go chipping one up to short leg and immediately followed by Curlett, the chirping wonder boy. After his mid-week bravado in which he stated, “I’ll finish top of that” after being shown a picture of the second team runs scored table, he was out for a duck.
Price and Byrne moved the score past 100. Price was stumped after running past a full toss and Byrne, after being mesmerised by Stimson for over an hour, finally missed that dreaded straight one bowled for 45.
Fletcher came next and was out to an absolute stunner of a one-handed catch.
Bossman promenades to the crease and commences batting, eagerly watched by the crowd who have held a sweep on the combined number of runs and chicken wings eaten by him at tea. As everyone is aware chicken deliveries have strengthened in the Widnes area over the last 3 months so it was no surprise that the lowest combined total started at 30. This being the minimum number of wings regularly eaten by Wearden junior during the tea interval. Even the swans, who prefer to fly on the airport flight path are giving Widnes a wide berth, just in case a chicken shortage develops.
Bossman is bowled for 26 by Mills who continued to bowl well and Hewitt is run out by a couple of yards. Confirmation that he has become the slowest runner between the wickets in the team.
McCurdy plays his all too familiar shot attempting to clip an off-stump Yorker down to fine leg and is bowled with Wearden D chipping one to covers shortly after.
In comes the quiet and unassuming Dean, being cheered on from the boundary by the Mrs. He responds with an elegant boundary. “Top shot” she cries. Catterall and Dean see Widnes past the 200 and declare the innings.
All eyes on James at tea. One large basket of wings for him and one for the rest of the players. He double bluffs and heads for the bananas. Hold on is he serious. Not at all. Hearty guffaw and he picks up his basket. This would be some competition between young Sam Whitty and the Bossman as KFC profits are severely hit when they take holidays outside of the UK. Bossman survives the tea interval. A couple of stitches are required to his fingers but he is able to take the field.
Young Lacey an up and coming leg-spinner with 2 for 32 and Stimson 2 for 48 are the pick of the Neston bowlers with Byrne top scoring for Widnes with a not so classic 45.
Neston go out to bat and are quickly 10 for 3. Heath is in at 3. Good player. Is he under orders though as he and his companion Shenoi continue to block out maiden after maiden after maiden. The overs soon overtake the runs and the partnership becomes hard to brake. McCurdy replaces Hewitt but his customary wicket taking full tosses are dabbed back to him. Time and again he attempts this tried and tested wicket taking full toss format, but time and time and time and time and time again they are dabbed back to him. New over McCurdy bowls batsman runs down the wicket misses it stumped. OUT!!! No wait, umpire says not out. Some confusion, did the batsmen cross, sun in his eyes, glasses on back to front, missing guide dog? Grumpy keeper not impressed.
Wearden D with figures of 9 overs 5 runs 3 wickets is replaced by Dean.

What’s this though at the Zombies end! McCurdy bowls, Shenoi plays a shot out towards mid-wicket and Price takes a one-hander. Out for 23. Neston 50 for 4 off plenty.
Heath, good player still, continues to block. Keeps walking across his stumps though trying to take advantage of the 8-1 field, in front again and again. Widnes appeal Not out, not out, not out. The umpire laughs.
At the other end though new batsman Brown, ball turns hits him in the groin and goes over. Ooh from the bowler and he is given out LBW. No appeal from behind the stumps. Batsman not happy with his captain for giving that one.
Dean continues wicket to wicket. Curlett can be heard shouting “just the cricket Widnes just the cricket”. What does he mean? Wickets coming thick and fast now from Dean - 1,2,3. Two more wickets required. Heath, seen enough now and starts batting to his ability and ends up with a commendable 62 and along with Mills 19 not out take Neston to a total of 121 all-out.
Stand out bowling from Wearden 3 for 5 off 9, Dean 5 for 10 off 11 and McCurdy 2 for 66 off 14 earned Widnes a hard-fought victory and 25 points.
Less said the better about the after match, although 4 jugs were wolfed pretty quickly.